Can’t You Wait Until I Come Home?

Chuck and I prepared our home for sale, while Marie spoke of her upcoming wedding plans. It seemed as though I were in a trance, in spite of the reality I now experienced. Marie and I had planned this special event for years.

My job took me away from home 5 days a week, leaving little time to prepare for Marie’s big day. One day while at work, out of state, a staff member informed me of an urgent telephone call from Marie.

My palms were cold and clammy as I reached for the telephone. Before hearing Marie’s voice, I was surmising the worst possible outcome of this call. Had something dreadful happened to her, to her father or brother? Had a natural disaster struck our home? I was a typical working mother at that moment, anticipating the worst.

“Mom,” Marie uttered in an ecstatic tone. I sighed heavily. Marie continued, “Mom, Are you all right? You sound upset?” As I took a deep breath, I replied, “I’m fine. I’m not upset. I was afraid there might be a problem.”

Marie shrieked with excitement when she proclaimed, “No Mom, there are no problems. Everything is perfect. I found my wedding dress. It is the most beautiful one I’ve ever seen, and I must buy it today.”

Disappointment gripped my heart. This was one of the occasions Marie and I had envisioned many times. This was to be part of the fairy tale day the two of us had discussed so many times through tears of joy and sorrow; the moment most little girls and their moms anticipate in their musings.

My voice was quivering as I replied, “sweetheart, can’t you wait until I arrive home on Friday”? “No Mom, I’m afraid it might be gone.” Now I knew the authenticity of not only having a young adult daughter, but not being home for events such as this. Marie no longer needed me in making one of the most important purchases of her life; her wedding gown.

As I placed the phone back on the cradle,I sobbed. This was another example of the missed joys and memories that accompanies a working mom. I arrived home at the end of the week, saddened I was unable to be with Marie as she had tried on dozens of gowns.

The aspirations each of us had from so many years before, for Marie’s special day, had to be altered due to the swiftly approaching date. The reception, music and perhaps even the flowers had been altered to accommodate the forthcoming wedding. For years Marie and I had planned a beautiful garden reception in their back yard. Nothing remained constant in the plans now, as they changed from day to day.

Each week as I boarded a plane, leaving behind family and home, I was reminded that being a working mother was a necessity to make Marie’s day a special one. Without working full-time we would never have the financial means to provide the wedding of Marie’s dreams. Years later when I realized Chuck never truly loved me, the fact that he used me only for an additional “pay check” caused many sleepless nights and hours of tears.

Marie had her dress and even though that seemed to be the most significant aspect of the wedding to her, much was left to plan and decide before her big day arrived. Marie desired Chuck and I decide much of the wedding details, since we were paying for the wedding.

I was astounded. What bride didn’t want to decide every minute detail? On week-ends when she was home, Chuck and I met with florists, caterers, musicians, etc. We amassed options for the wedding essentials, shared them with Marie and Tom whom then made the final decision. There were few wedding elements which the four of us didn’t agree upon.

Even though Chuck and I were the primary “planners” for the event, Marie noted the options provided for her and Tom were perfect. The only conflict during all these proposals was the pricey antique Rolls Royce which Tom desired for their transportation from the church to the reception rather than driving Chuck’s one-year old Mercedes Benz.

Due to the expense of the wedding, Chuck felt this optional transportation should be the expenditure of the groom. When this became a source of contention between Tom, his parents, Marie, Chuck and me, Chuck “gave in” and paid for a frivolous ride to the reception.

There would be many other ruts along life’s path. Chuck and I didn’t wish to begin the journey with Tom and his parents with frays we might have caused. Oh, the reality of having another “son” in our family with different opinions and values from their own!

Please continue to follow my journey. My autobiographical blog began in April 2016 from her childhood.

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