She Just Needed to Be Punished

Over the next few years, the Wood family remained intact while the family’s schedule was routine and expected. With each of the children now teens, the family calendar was filled with assorted activities including concerts, golf and debate tournaments, as well as the occasional need for “parent volunteers”.

Even though Chuck continued to direct Jalene to work outside the home, she always cherished those moments of being with her children, as she knew those moments were fleeting. She truly missed her duties as home room mother, camp fire leader and parent chaperone for school outings. Chuck would occasionally help out with these events, but more often than not, he was working.

Red-letter events such as family birthdays and holidays remained a highlight for Jalene. Planning these celebrations concluded in days of preparation in decorating the home, purchasing special gifts, cooking and baking for all the guests. Whether it was a party for a few or many, Jalene loved to give her time and attention to every minute detail; making all those whom entered their home feel welcomed and appreciated.

In addition to the numerous celebrations throughout the year, Jalene had been offered the opportunity to open their home to international guests for up to 6 weeks at a time. After conversing with Chuck and the children, they all believed this would be an opportunity to “bring the world” to them, since their vacations and travel were limited.

Jalene also signed up to host local international college students in their home. The commitment mandated a monthly visit with the family and student(s). Jalene savored the occasion to share their home and culture with these students whom were removed from their family and friends thousands of miles away. Jalene also encouraged their assigned student(s) to bring their friends. Often times the Wood family’s home would be abuzz with as many as a dozen international students and their friends. Marie was grateful and appreciative for these opportunities as she often bonded with the guests. Although, Christian was not as welcoming to those whom the family hosted.

Chuck and Jalene continued to have frequent verbal confrontations. However, Jalene’s love for Chuck remained paramount even though she realized his love for her was not equal. With her strong religious beliefs and vows, she always had faith the marriage would be healed and some day Chuck would love her. There were also the occasional “good days” which caused Jalene to realize their marriage was worth saving.

Physical intimacy between Chuck and Jalene was seldom and this persisted to be one of Jalene’s greatest sorrows in their marriage. Sometimes she longed for even a hug from Chuck, but he believed she was asking too much.

Chuck was a good provider for the family, but Jalene often thought how gladly she would trade their luxury home and “extras” for a more modest home and life, if only she had a husband whom loved her as much as he loved his career and income. Jalene discerned she could not change Chuck’s desire for wealth and prestige, but she continued to pray his heart would be changed; to desire her as his wife, as much as she desired him to be her husband. Jalene so greatly missed what the other couples in their sphere of influence had; loving mates whom enjoyed the company of each other.

In future years Jalene would look at some of the lovely gifts which Chuck bought her instead of giving her the physical and emotional love and support she so greatly cherished. She would tearfully recall those moments of receiving his gifts, wishing for a loving touch, a warm kiss or embrace.

During one of the lingering conflicts, Chuck would not utter a single word to Jalene for 15 days. He knew this was causing her great anxiety and sorrow, but it was deliberate punishment. Jalene sought counsel from their pastor and a psychologist as her emotional anxiety increased.

Their pastor had requested to converse with both Chuck and Jalene for an understanding of such behavior. Chuck was unable to provide an explanation or rationale. He noted, he did so just to punish Jalene, but he couldn’t recall what she had done to bring such chastisement. This would be the pattern of their marriage for years to come. Jalene’s pleas to Chuck for an understanding of what she had done to cause such actions would always be refused.

During Chuck’s frequent absence from the family, Christian challenged Jalene’s patience to the utmost. His dishonesty of being with friends when he was actually into mischief became the “norm” rather the sporadic shenanigans. He remained an excellent student, in spite of his orneriness. Jalene would learn years later that her requisite to discipline her children in the absence of Chuck would have a lingering effect of their anger toward her, but especially from Christian.

Please continue to follow Jalene’s journey. Her blog began in April 2016 from her childhood.

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