We Just Wanted To See You

Jalene was cognizant that Chuck truly didn’t have the devotion to her, as she did toward him.  Each week-end she would eagerly anticipate his visits, but he seldom came home to be with his family. He spent his week-ends with his parents or his brother. Jalene had flashbacks of their honeymoon when Chuck chose to spend it with his brother, Mike instead of her. Now, he was repeating his actions by refusing to come home to his wife and two young children, ages two and four.

Chuck and Jalene fought harshly and frequently when they were together, but one of their most combative arguments was on a week-end when Jalene had loaded the car with the two children and headed to OK for a week-end. She wanted to see her husband and desired that the children could see their Daddy. She was in absolute dismay when she arrived at her in-law’s home and was greeted with intense anger from Chuck.

He didn’t want Jalene there. He told her he would see her in several weeks, so why had she chosen to make a trip from TX to OK?  As she sobbed uncontrollably her chest heaved, “I just wanted to see you. I love and miss you.” Chuck was abrupt and harsh, “I said I would be home in a few weeks. I don’t want you here.”

Chuck instructed Jalene to “get in the car” as he didn’t want them arguing in his parents’ small home. Jalene had experienced Chuck’s abuse previously, but once again when they were in the car, Chuck’s rage increased. Repeatedly he queried her as to why she had come. Her reply never changed as she told of her love and devotion for him. She reminded him that she and the children missed him.

While driving down the street, the car door opened and Jalene jumped out, walking in the cold, dark night air. She prayed aloud as she walked, salty tears stung her eyes. Why did the husband she loved so deeply, have such disdain for her? As she walked, it was quite some time before Chuck came to look for her. If she could have known what the future held for her that would have been the very last time such a conflict occurred. However, it would be one of hundreds over the next years of their marriage.

While the children played with their grandparents during the week-end, Chuck’s wrath remained with jalene. She quietly cried as she returned home to TX; alone with only her children and void of the love of her husband.

Months passed and the TX home eventually sold. While seeking a home in OK, Chuck and Jalene located a new home under construction. They were able to make selections to complete the house with their personal tastes and influence. This necessitated moving temporarily  into another apartment. Jalene was hopeful the apartment residency would be worth the wait for the new home.

Within hours of moving into the apartment, the children had been severely bitten by fleas. Jalene’s little family didn’t posses a pet, but it was apparent the previous occupants of the apartment had. Also evident was the fact the apartment corporation had not properly cleaned and fumigated the apartment. The flea bites required a physician’s visit for the children.  The severe infestation in the children’s  bedroom appeared to be where the pet had been housed.  If the parasites were not enough of a problem, the apartment flooded during a strong rain storm.

Jalene was at her wits’ ends. Would her life ever be normal? Chuck’s chronic career relocations and residing in apartments was becoming a challenge. Jalene reminded herself that her pastor and parents noted she took a vow and must remain in the marriage; for better or worse. The enduring abuse and control from Chuck compounded with his inability to remain “rooted and secure” in his career caused Jalene to ponder often her decision to marry Chuck.

When the day arrived for the Wood family to move into their new home, the elation was experienced by all the family. The children were free from dwelling together in one room in a small, dirty apartment. They each had rooms of their own, which they had selected. Jalene had a huge, new kitchen to enjoy not only preparing meals for the family, but much space to entertain famiy and future friends.

Chuck and Jalene were the first residents of not only a new house, but a brand new neighborhood in Edmond, OK, a college surburb of Oklahoma City. Edmond of the 1970’s consisted primarily of long-term residents; families whom were business owners and professionals. Edmond didn’t readily accept newcomers. Nonetheless, Jalene rapidly became involved in the community, becoming a home-room mother, Camp Fire leader and Sunday School teacher, as well as contributing countless hours to other volunteer work.

Even though Marie and Christian were young and Jalene desired to be a full-time mother to them, Chuck mandated that she look for employment to assist with the family budget. She became a care-giver for children before and after school, as well as catering and cake decorating from her home.

Jalene resented the circumstances of Chuck moving from career to career for his personal desires, but always mandated that Jalene seek part-time employment. Additional income was not required from her. Nonetheless it was an opportunity for Chuck to control Jalene. With each passing month, the abuse from Chuck became more severe.

Please continue to join Jalene as she struggles to cope with Chuck and the abusive marriage.












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