EGreetings dear readers! A happy belated Mother’s Day to each of you ladies. Whether or not you are a mother if you have loved, supported, encouraged and/or mentored a child, you are indeed a “mom”, a figure of influence and position.
Mother’s Day is sincerely the most sorrowful day of the year for me. Even though I’m alone on all holidays and my birthday, Mother’s Day ranks as the “worst day of the year for me”. After a 23 year estrangement from my son and his family, I’m reminded that he has discarded me as much as my parents did and also my husband of 44 years.
All persons have some value. We are certainly esteemed to the God whom created us. Each of us possess strengths and weaknesses. We embolden some individuals, while it may appear we dishearten others. All personalities will not interweave with others. Yet, there is value in almost all of mankind.
As I have shared in my previous blogs, my parents were extremely abusive toward me; yet I always honored them for the position they held in my life. They were my parents. When I read The Purpose Drive Life by Rick Warren, I sobbed uncontrollably at his words on page 25 as follows:
“This poem by Russell Kelfer sums it up:
You are who you are for a reason.
You’re part of an intricate plan.
You’re a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God’s special woman or man.
You look like you look for a reason
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb,
You’re just what he wanted to make.
The parents you had were the ones he chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom-designed with God’s plan in mind,
And they bear the Master’s seal.
No, that trauma you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into his likeness you’d grow
You are who you are for a reason,
You’ve been formed by the Master’s rod.
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God “
How my heart ached as I read those words, for I didn’t then, nor do I now understand why God chose such unloving, unkind and abusive parents. Yet they were my parents and I honored each of them until the day they died. I never failed to honor them on a holiday, their birthdays and especially on the day we honor our parents; Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.
Because of the deep lamentation I endured with my parents, I unequivocally provided a home of love, support and encouragement for my own two children. My daughter, now the mother of four is beginning to learn more with each passing day that being a parent doesn’t instill in us a sense of perfection. Even with my imperfections, her love toward me is a gift I deeply cherish.
As persons first and parents second, we attempt to do our very best. Nonetheless, our best is not always what others may desire. Their yearnings may be different from ours. Yet I can say with the utmost sincerity that my devotion and love for my family has always been foremost in my thoughts and actions.
Thus, I’m perplexed at the depths of hatred and anger Christopher displays toward me. Yet, it’s now the majority of the past 23 years that I never receive even a word from Christopher on any day; certainly not on a special day. The sacrifices Charles and I made for him to be the successful attorney he is today were made without hesitation. The sorrow I now endure to know that we deprived our entire family of so many things in order to “give” our utmost to Chris is unrivaled.
Please continue with me as I return to the journey which brought me to my present life. If you wish to begin my journey with me, please read the blog from April 2016 which transpires through my abusive and difficult childhood. The journaling of my life has been slow due to the reality of coping with life as a single, senior. The challenges of living totally alone void of family and friends is arduous. In time, my life’s journal will be completed. Along, the way, I desire only to bless others whom have experienced similar obstacles. Happy belated Mother’s Day!