This blog is a short deviation from Jalene’s early journey, but it is such an integral part of her life. Although, it is in the present rather than the past, it validates the type of abuse she endured during her 44 year marriage.
As a gift to each of Jalene’s grandchildren when they turn 13, she offers them a domestic trip of choice. As her youngest grandson celebrated his 13th birthday this month she knew traveling alone with only his Nana, Ben would be more comfortable with having his grandfather join them on the trip.
Charles had no reason not to join them except for his continual selfishness. He was adamant that he had no desire to be with his grandson. This saddened Jalene tremendously. We can’t walk our life’s paths again when those moments have passed us. However, for 44 years, Jalene begged and pleaded with Charles to take a walk, just sit and talk, share a cup of coffee or tea or anything he suggested. Television was his sole interest. As Charles held the remote control in his hand, if Jalene uttered even one word, the volume control was increased and she realized it was one more way to “shut her out.” Jalene tried countless ways for the two of them to be together, but he always refused.
In 2012 when Charles chose to take a “male friend” on a trip which he and Jalene had planned for months, he could no longer deny he was gay. Charles informed her to file for divorce and he would not fight her on the divorce as he had done countless, previous times.
Of course, he wouldn’t! He was once again in total control of the situation. Charles was never enough of a man to allow Jalene to go when they were in their 30’s, 40’s or 50’s. Now in her 60’s, he announced he no longer wanted Jalene in his life.
The sorrow continues today, but as with the years of her youth, Jalene can only pull herself up by her bootstraps and continue on. Please join me with my weekly journey of Jalene.
There are previous posts of the many obstacles in Jalene’s young life and future posts of the abuse and domestic violence in her later years.